


danger always was a friend of mine

by momentsintimex



Category: To All the Boys I've Loved Before Series - Jenny Han, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: Don't copy to another site, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 08:01:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,271
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17783621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/momentsintimex/pseuds/momentsintimex
Summary: It’s a temporary thing.As she watches Peter bring in the last of the boxes from his car, that’s what Lara Jean keeps telling herself.That he just needed a place to stay while his place was being cleaned and renovated by the owners. It would be a few months, tops. And then he’d be back in his own place and they’d go back to seeing each other in passing.--Lara Jean invites Peter to live in her apartment while his is being renovated. She finds it's much harder to pretend he isn't the perfect man when he's living in a room 20 feet from hers.





	danger always was a friend of mine

**Author's Note:**

> happy valentine's day i started writing this three months ago and finally finished it and what a good day to post it!
> 
> PSA they have never dated before in this fic/there was no contract/secret letters :)

_It’s a temporary thing._

As she watches Peter bring in the last of the boxes from his car, that’s what Lara Jean keeps telling herself.

That he just needed a place to stay while his place was being cleaned and renovated by the owners. It would be a few months, tops. And then he’d be back in his own place and they’d go back to seeing each other in passing.

It made sense, really. They stayed friendly after high school, though never really went out of their way to hang out with each other. Lara Jean had friends that lived in his apartment building, so she knew everyone was being told to find temporary housing for a few months. She had an extra bedroom at her place — Chris had moved out a month prior when she got a job and felt the commute was too long — and all her friends already made arrangements for places to stay.

She was tipsy on wine when she asked Peter what he was doing when she saw him at a mutual friends party. He took a sip of his beer, shrugged, and nonchalantly said that he’d stay on his friends couch until he figured it out.

“I have an extra bedroom!” She declared bravely, taking another sip of her wine. “If you don’t mind helping out with rent, you’re more than welcome to take it until your apartment is ready.”

Which is how she finds herself standing in her kitchen in an old t-shirt and pajama pants with hearts plastered all over them, watching Peter bring the last of his things in.

“You could’ve told me to come later if you didn’t want to get up early,” He smirks when he shuts the front door, but Lara Jean just quickly shakes her head.

“I’m trying to get back on normal people time,” She says coolly, taking another sip of coffee. “I’m done with night shifts for a while. Which means I have to get myself back on day shift schedule, and that means getting up at an acceptable hour.”

Peter nods like he completely understands, moving to a box to take out some kitchen things. He gestures to the counter near the fridge, Lara Jean nods, and he sets out a NutriBullet and a toaster.

“So, a nurse? I can’t say I ever thought you’d go into that field,” He says after a moment, taking out another mug and setting it in the cabinet Lara Jean had pointed to.

“I wish I could say the same for you,” She smiles, biting back a yawn. “But business seems exactly like something you would be into.”

He laughs, shaking his head as he closes up the box and tosses it next to the trash can. “I’m that predictable?” He asks, gesturing for Lara Jean to follow him when he grabs his suitcase to walk to his bedroom.

“I wouldn’t say predictable,” She shrugs, leaning against the door frame. “You’re more just — you’re a good business guy. You have the charm to get what you want. And I think that probably translates well into the business world.”

Peter laughs at that, a laugh that forces Lara Jean to duck her head and hide her quickly blushing cheeks behind her coffee cup. “Well thank you, Covey. I’m taking that as a compliment.”

Lara Jean nods, mumbles some sort of sentence about how she’s going to get more coffee and maybe make herself look more presentable, and then disappears into her bedroom and thinks about how all of this is already a terrible idea.

_______________________________

The first night doesn’t turn out horrible, Lara Jean finds. Peter spends most of the day getting settled in his room, Lara Jean takes her day off to catch up with friends and the books she had been neglecting, and Peter offers to take her to the diner down the street as a thank you for letting him move in.

He orders fries for them to share, Lara Jean orders a sandwich for dinner, and then sits there and marvels at how Peter orders a burger and onion rings as if he could stomach all of that food in one sitting.

“I can’t tell you how thankful I am that you’re letting me take your spare bedroom,” Peter says around a fry, reaching for the ketchup. “I was just going to crash on my friends couch for a while until I figured things out.”

Lara Jean shrugs, plucking a fry from the plate and popping it in her mouth. “It’s really not a big deal, Peter,” She insists. “It was sitting empty anyway. Chris moved out last month, and I don’t necessarily _need_ anyone to live in it immediately to be able to afford rent. I just wasn’t that bothered about finding someone, but a bedroom is much better for you than your friends couch.”

Peter nods. “He wanted me to pay in beer anyway. Which is probably more expensive than this rent.”

“I can’t think that’s true,” Lara Jean smiles, taking a sip of her drink as she stares at Peter. He looks exactly the same as he did in high school, except the bags under his eyes are a little darker and his hair is a little neater.

She had a ridiculous crush on him in middle school. It didn’t miraculously disappear as they got older, in fact she still thinks he’s incredibly cute, but he started dating Gen in high school, and Gen and Lara Jean didn’t get along.

So they stuck together as friends, friends that drifted apart during college but found their ways back when Lara Jean moved closer to home for a job, and now they occasionally saw each other at the bars when Lara Jean would muster up the energy to let loose and have fun for a night.

“So, do you think we should make like, roommate rules?” Peter asks, smiling at the waitress when she sets their food in front of them. “It’s your place, and I definitely don’t want to step on your toes.”

Lara Jean nods, reaching for another fry. “Honestly, as long as you don’t throw any ridiculous ragers I’m sure I’ll be cool with whatever you do,” She smiles. She shoves another fry into her mouth and reaches for her soda. “I’m working day shifts for a while now, but if I go back on night shifts I like to sleep during the day. Obviously.”

“I’m at work all day,” He smiles. “But definitely no ragers, you’ve got yourself a deal.”

“I don’t mind small parties,” Lara Jean amends after she swallows a bite of her sandwich. “I just don’t want like, a million people in our place.”

“Fair enough,” He agrees, taking a bite of his burger. “Anything else?”

Lara Jean mulls it over for a moment, dragging a fry through the ketchup on her plate. “On the side of the fridge there’s an ongoing shopping list. If you need anything or if there’s food we’ve run out of just write it on there? Then one of us can go when we’re desperate. And maybe if you’re going to be out overnight you could just text me? That way I don’t think you died or something. I’ll do the same.”

Peter nods in agreement. “You’ve got yourself a deal, Covey,” He says, and over the rest of their dinner they talk about the apartment complex and their jobs, and Lara Jean feels herself relax into this whole situation.

She only mildly argues when Peter offers to pay for both of them, holding his hand up in protest when he reaches for the bill. “You’re letting me live with you, Lara Jean. I think that calls for me treating you to dinner to at least say thank you.”

“You don’t need to say thank you,” Lara Jean mumbles, pulling her jacket on. “You _are_ paying rent.”

“Yes, but you’re giving up half of your nice apartment that you had to yourself to invite me in when I had nowhere else to go.” His smile is charming when he fishes for his wallet. Lara Jean ducks her head.

She doesn’t know how she’s going to last months living in the same place as him.

_______________________________

As it turns out, Peter is still dating Gen.

Or at least that’s what she assumes when she gets home from work and Peter says he’s going to dinner with her, grabbing his keys off the hook after saying a quick goodbye.

Lara Jean doesn’t know why she’s disappointed. She’s back in her apartment alone for a few hours, which means she can watch _Grey’s Anatomy_ on the big TV while she eats the biggest bowl of pasta she can make after a long day at work.

She changes into sweats and watches an episode while she pours herself a big glass of wine, but Chris’ picture lights up on her phone screen just as she settles in to eat and enjoy her time to herself.

“When were you going to tell me Kavinsky has moved into my old bedroom?” She asks when Lara Jean answers. There’s amusement hidden behind her words.

“I’ve been meaning to tell you,” Lara Jean sighs, stabbing at her pasta. “I saw him at Greg’s party. He’d been saying how he was going to crash on his friends couch until renovations were done. I figured he could stay in your room, and it gave me some help on the rent.”

“You don’t need help with the rent,” Chris counters.

“Yeah, but it’s nice to have.” Lara Jean takes a bite of pasta, sighing. “Are you planning to move back in here or something? You seem pretty defensive about your bedroom.”

“No, LJ, sorry you’ll just have to learn to live without me,” Chris says. She laughs, and Lara Jean can hear her walk into her building. “I just heard from Lyla that you invited Peter to stay with you until their building is back open. Just figured I’d call since it was clear you weren’t going to tell me.”

“I _was_ going to tell you,” Lara Jean exaggerates. She was just trying to figure out how to say it. “I just… it was quick, and then he moved in and we’re basically always here at the same time. There was no time to call you.”

“Well, I’d appreciate if you found time to call me and tell me these life updates, Lara Jean,” Chris says playfully.

Lara Jean takes a breath. “Yeah, I’ll be sure to update you if anything happens,” She says, and then quickly shakes her head. “Not that anything will. He’s out with Gen now, so,” She shrugs, reaching for her wine.

“He’s still with her?” Chris asks. “My family is the worst at communication, I swear.”

Lara Jean laughs, taking another bite of her dinner. “I’m guessing it’s still a thing. He was leaving when I got home from work. Didn’t really elaborate further than that.” She stands up, walking back into the kitchen.

“Hm,” Chris hums, and then her new roommate is home and she sends a quick goodbye to Lara Jean, making her promise that she’ll tell her all about Peter Kavinsky as a roommate when they have time to see each other.

Lara Jean agrees, and lets her phone fall onto the sofa, leaning back and getting sucked in to another episode of _Grey’s_ that she’s seen a million times before.

She’s on her third episode when Peter walks back in, glancing at the TV when he hangs up his keys. “Not sure how you spend all day at a hospital and then come home and watch this,” He says, grabbing a water from the fridge and falling into the chair in the living room. “Doesn’t it annoy you that all of this is not accurate at all?”

Lara Jean shrugs. “I mean, it’s not wrong all the time. But it _is_ a little annoying,” She concedes. “But it’s drama, and it’s sexy, and I think I can look past all the horrible inaccuracies.”

“I think I’d be sitting here yelling at the screen that they’re doing things wrong.”

“Oh, I definitely do,” She nods, and Peter laughs.

Lara Jean bites the inside of her lip, taking a moment before she looks back at him. “So, how was dinner?”

Peter raises his eyebrows. “You know. It was okay,” He shrugs. “It’s been a while since we’ve been able to go out. I told her I’m living here.”

“I’m sure she’s thrilled,” Lara Jean rolls her eyes, standing up to get candy from the cabinet. She tosses Peter a Kit-Kat.

“Oh, yeah,” Peter sighs, taking a bite of the chocolate. “I told her it’s temporary, but well,” He gestures like she completely understands, “you know Gen.”

Lara Jean nods, because she _does_ know Gen. She knows that Gen ruined years of being best friends all because Lara Jean kissed Peter in a silly game of spin the bottle in 7th grade. She knows that Gen spent the entirety of high school being a bitch to Lara Jean, who at that point hadn’t known what she had done. And then she _for sure_ knows that she manipulated Peter just enough to keep him around, which is evidently still working.

“So, you and Gen?” She asks, catching Peter’s attention again after a moment. “You’ve been together all this time?”

Peter sighs, his head falling back. “Yes and no,” He says around a mouthful of Kit-Kat. And then he swallows, reaching for his water. “We broke up for a little bit in college. Then got back together. And then broke up again.”

“But now you’re back on?”

Peter nods, and then shrugs. “I mean, I guess? It’s not like, official. But we’re exclusive or whatever.”

Lara Jean nods, unsure of what to say.

“I know, it’s ridiculous. You wouldn’t be the first person to say it,” He smiles, taking a sip of water. “What about you? You seeing anyone?”

Lara Jean has half a mind to just laugh in Peter’s face at the question. But then she remembers that Peter doesn’t really know her all that well, at least not well enough to know her relationships. In fact, they really only know each other from following each other on Instagram, where Lara Jean has only posted three pictures with her ex-boyfriend, and he’s been long gone.

“No, I’m not,” She finally says, finishing off her wine. “I mean, I dated this guy, Parker, for a while. But we broke it off when he realized I wasn’t going to carve out time to go to these woodworking conventions he loved so much.”

“ _That_ was the reason he left?” Peter asks. He’s biting back a laugh. “Sorry, Covey, I just thought you’d have higher standards. Woodworking?”

Lara Jean _does_ smile at that, shrugging. “I mean, I’m sure me studying during most of my free time and then not wanting to have sex with him every single weekend was probably a big deciding factor in that as well,” She smiles. “He wasn’t exactly lighting the world on fire when he told me after he got his degree he thought about maybe traveling the world for a while. Which wasn’t so bad. Until he said he was seeing where the wind takes him.”

Peter cringes. “Damn. You dodged a bullet there, then.”

Lara Jean nods. “Definitely,” She agrees.

They fall back into a comfortable silence for a while. Peter encourages Lara Jean to say what the doctors should actually be doing to help the patients on _Grey’s_ , and when they both branch off to go to bed later that night Lara Jean suddenly does feel a little better about asking Peter Kavinsky to be her roommate.

She finds it’s nice having someone else there. If nothing else than for little conversations like the ones they had tonight. Even if that person is someone she loved in high school and had never really gotten over.

She falls asleep with their conversation playing in her mind on repeat, his laugh filling up her brain just enough to make it difficult to focus on anything else.

_______________________________

Somehow, Peter and Lara Jean fall into a routine.

Peter is always home from work before her, and most nights he’ll start dinner, making enough for the both of them. Lara Jean learns that Peter is actually a good cook, something he prides himself on when he slides a plate full of chicken and vegetables in front of her one night after an especially long shift.

“I learned to cook in college,” He says proudly one night, pouring them both glasses of wine before he joins her at the island. “I lived with two girls, and they told me that I’d never be able to survive on my own if I didn’t know how to cook.”

“They weren’t wrong,” She counters, cutting up her chicken and taking a bite. “But you became like… a good chef. Not just a guy who can cook a few dishes pretty well.”

Peter laughs around his wine glass, warmth spreading through his cheeks. “I convinced my mom to teach me some of her favorite dishes, and then she and I took a cooking class together to learn fancier things. It was a good bonding moment.”

Lara Jean smiles, taking another bite. “I’m sure Gen is in love with you being able to cook,” She says, but Peter’s smile falters and he ducks his head to stare at his plate.

“She actually prefers we go out to eat when we eat together,” He says quietly. He takes a bite of his chicken, and Lara Jean waits until he swallows. “I’ve cooked for her a few times, but I don’t really think she cares either way.”

Lara Jean nods, apologizing quietly for even bringing it up, and Peter smiles. “You didn’t know, Lara Jean,” He assures her, and his smile is warm and somehow Lara Jean doesn’t feel as bad as she did. “Besides, you enjoy my cooking. And that feeds my ego just enough to know that at least my roommate will eat my food.”

“I will eat anything you cook, seriously,” She nods, smiling and taking another bite. “And that has nothing to do with the fact that it’s nice to come home and have dinner done.”

Peter sits up a little straighter, a smug smile on his face when he thanks her.

“So, how was work today? Did you do anything cool?” Peter asks after a moment. Most of their dinners go like this. Peter is unusually interested in her life as an ER nurse, and Lara Jean is all too eager to tell him about the cool things she did that day.

Chris always said it made her squeamish. She wanted to know as little as possible, thank you very much. She knew when Lara Jean came home in different scrubs than what she left in it was a rough day, and she never asked what happened.

Peter is the opposite. He loves listening to Lara Jean talk about her day. He’s constantly asking questions, asking how she doesn’t faint when she sees some horrible injuries, and Lara Jean laughs most of the time at how he cringes at some of her stories.

“It was okay,” She shrugs, finishing off the rest of her dinner. “I helped with some broken bones. There was a woman who was faking illness just to get pain meds,” She says, smiling when Peter raises his eyebrows. “I watched a doctor give a ton of stitches to a kid who fell at school.”

“Damn,” He says quietly, shaking his head. “All I did today at work was give a presentation and work on some client billing.”

“How did your presentation go?” Lara Jean asks, standing up from the table to bring her plate to the sink. Peter always cooked and so Lara Jean cleaned up. It was a routine neither of them argued with.

Peter finishes the rest of his dinner, following her back over to the sink. “I think it went well,” He says, setting his plate just beside hers. “The boss seemed to really like the way I laid out projections for this quarter. He was engaged and asking questions, and I answered them all confidently even though I wasn’t prepared for some of them.”

“Told you business just seems to be your thing,” Lara Jean smiles, looking over her shoulder back at him. He blushes, laughing quietly as he shakes his head. “Seriously though, congrats. I’m proud of you,” She says quietly. A fond smile spreads across her face.

“Yeah?” He mumbles, his eyebrows raising. “Well thank you, Covey.”

Lara Jean nods, staring at him for a moment too long. He pulls his bottom lip between his teeth, looks up just as she moves to focus on finishing the dishes, and then clears his throat and pulls his phone from his back pocket.

“I’ll leave you to this,” He says quietly, patting the counter. “Let me know if you need any help.”

Lara Jean nods, listening to Peter’s feet pad across the living room and back into his room. His door is left partly open, the music from his speakers floats quietly over the hum of the tap turned on, and Lara Jean finds herself singing quietly along, finishing the dishes and learning to co-live with someone so easily.

_______________________________

A late Fall thunderstorm rolls through town on Lara Jean’s first full weekend off in weeks, bringing grey skies, endless lightning, and flooding that could rival the small creek in their hometown.

Peter, who had plans to spend the weekend with Gen going on a nature hike (her idea, not that he didn’t enjoy the suggestion), cancels them due to the weather. Lara Jean felt a little bad listening to his phone conversation with Gen through his closed bedroom door, but she heard him offer to go over and spend the weekend there so they could still spend time together.

He emerges from his room a few minutes later, and Lara Jean has to look away to stop herself from thinking about how cute he looks in his oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants.

“Well, I’m here for the weekend if you’d like to do anything,” He says, and when Lara Jean looks back his face is twisted somewhere between a grimace and a smile. “Gen says there’s no point in me going over there if we’re just going to be stuck indoors.”

Lara Jean raises her eyebrows, turning back to make Peter some toast along with hers. “I would think she’d want you to come over. Being stuck inside for an entire weekend?”

Peter laughs softly. “Yeah, I know. I thought we could’ve had a weekend together, like watching movies or laying in bed or whatever.” He shrugs, runs his fingers through his hair, and then lets out this breath. “It’s fine. You and I can spend the weekend hanging out if you want. Unless you have plans.”

“You’re allowed to be bothered by this,” Lara Jean says quietly. Their toast pops, she tosses his onto a plate and hands it to him. “I mean, I would think if your girlfriend loved you so much she’d want you to come over.”

Peter nods, but he doesn’t say anything and Lara Jean butters her toast wondering if she crossed a line in talking to him about all of this. “If it makes you feel better, I have the weekend off. We can definitely hang out,” She says.

She earns half a smile, and when Peter brushes behind her to put the peanut butter back in the cabinet his hand rests against her back goosebumps spread across her skin, and she slowly pulls the sleeves of her sweatshirt over her hand.

_She cannot fall for Peter Kavinsky._

—

It’s Peter’s idea to have a movie marathon. He suggests they alternate picking movies, letting her have first choice while he makes popcorn and she scrolls through Netflix to find the perfect movie to start their marathon off with.

Peter returns to the living room and sets her share of the popcorn on the coffee table as Lara Jean settles on _P.S. I Love You_ , rolling his eyes.

“Really, Covey? We’re starting off with this?” He asks, grabbing a blanket out of the basket by the TV and pulling it over him when he falls into the chair.

“It’s a classic, Peter,” She argues, leaning back against the sofa with her bowl of popcorn in her lap. “Besides, you get to pick the next movie. And I’m sure you’re going to pick something I don’t like.”

“Fair,” He shrugs, gesturing for her to start the movie.

She does, stealing glances at Peter every so often during the film she’s seen hundreds of times. She expects him to be on his phone by the time they’re halfway through, but he’s not. He’s engrossed in it, smiling at her when she’s caught staring. She blushes, smiling back and then ducking her head behind her legs where she can no longer see him.

She’s enjoying this far more than she thought she would.

—

Peter ends up picking _Black Panther_ for his first movie, one that Lara Jean wouldn’t have chosen but finds herself enjoying anyway. She texts Chris for a few minutes during it, jumping when Peter clears his throat.

When she looks up, he’s staring at her with an amused smile.

“I paid attention to your romcom. You should be as invested in this as I was with that movie,” He says, but there’s a teasing nature behind his words and his face spreads out into a wide grin.

Lara Jean laughs, her phone falling into her lap. She pulls the blanket further around her, resting her head on the pillow and letting herself be fully engrossed in the movie. It’s not a horrible choice, she decides after watching it for a few moments, but days like these always felt like good romcom days — a treat that Chris would’ve begrudgingly gone along with.

She jumps a few times, Peter teases her, and for as much as she was looking forward to having her own apartment for a while, she has to admit that afternoons like this — where the rain is pelting down against the roof of their apartment building, it’s grey outside but dark and cozy inside — are really nice to share with a friend.

—

Peter digs through the fridge, finding ready-made pizza dough, sauce, and cheese. “Wanna make our own pizza? There’s only enough for one, but we could split it,” He offers, quickly realizing the two of them would feel too bad ordering out and making someone deliver in this storm.

So she nods, pulling a cutting board from the cabinet and cutting up peppers while Peter rolls out the dough, expertly pouring on the sauce and enough cheese to make a mountain. “I’m a big cheese lover,” He argues, popping a handful in his mouth.

“I see that,” Lara Jean nods, spreading out the peppers on her half of the pizza. “Want some?” She offers, but Peter scrunches up his nose and shakes his head, transferring the pizza onto a board to be cooked.

Peter suggests they pick another movie to watch while they’re eating. It’s Lara Jean’s turn this time, and as she scrolls through Netflix Peter pulls the pizza out and sets it on a plate, setting it on the coffee table so he can join Lara Jean on the couch.

“Is _Sixteen Candles_ another one of those love movies?” He asks, furrowing his brow when he reads the synopsis. “Come on, Lara Jean. Don’t you want to watch something else?”

“I believe your turn is next,” She smirks, grabbing her plate and falling back onto the sofa beside him, hitting play while she grabs her first slice of pizza. “It’s a very good movie, Peter. I think you might enjoy this one.”

Peter would never admit it if she asked, but Lara Jean catches him far too invested in the movie on more than one occasion.

She also notices that he’s moved impossibly closer to him throughout the course of their dinner, his knee now knocking against hers. She freezes at first, glancing up at him as he makes no attempt to move it. She doesn’t hate it — her mind is mostly thinking about how he is _definitely_ not single and she shouldn’t be thinking about him like this — but her heartbeat is suddenly going at a million miles a minute and the blood is rushing to her ears, and the movie she’s seen so many times before now sounds like white noise.

She reaches for her wine then for another piece of pizza just as Peter does, his knuckles brushing against hers. His skin is rough, dry patches just along the ridges of his hand. There’s a jolt that goes through her, one that pulls her hand away and then sends it right back.

She doesn’t move her hand, frozen in time. Peter, who doesn’t seem to know what’s happening to her — or he doesn’t care — laughs at a line in the movie, nudging her hand with his.

She manages to look up, breath caught in her throat, her face clearly flushed, and he smiles, taking a bite of his pizza.

Lara Jean half expects him to move away. To finish his dinner, take their things to the sink and move over to the chair where he had been laid out all day.

But he doesn’t. He finishes his dinner, grabs his own glass of wine and pulls the blanket she had been using over his legs, leaning back against the couch cushions.

Lara Jean loses track of time after that, and one of her favorite movies is quickly replaced by the hammering in her chest and the hopes that Gen somehow doesn’t hate her more if she ever finds out about all of this.

To be fair, Lara Jean offers to let Peter pick a movie after _Sixteen Candles_ ends. He looks as if he’ll protest at first, and then he shrugs, reaching for the remote to flick through the options.

“This was a really good idea,” He offers quietly, letting her read the synopsis of a movie he was planning on putting on. “But this weather is supposed to stick around, so we still have all of tomorrow. Continue the movie marathon then?” He asks.

Lara Jean, who’s mind is working at half capacity at best, stands up to dig for some chocolate in the cabinet in an effort to distract her mind. “If you think you can stand more romcoms, then sure,” She says mostly into the void, but Peter’s laugh fills the room and he agrees immediately.

“Only if you can deal with some action movies,” He counters.

And somehow Lara Jean finds herself agreeing, handing him some candy as she sits back down on the sofa to finish their movie marathon.

_______________________________

The months drag on with no real updates on Peter’s apartment situation. The only thing the landlord communicated was that damage was worse than they originally thought, and that rent would reflect the fact that they’re not actually living there.

Peter apologizes profusely, offers to find a new place to live if he’s overstaying his welcome, but Lara Jean just shakes her head.

“I have the bedroom, Peter. And you’re helping me out with rent. You’re fine to stay here as long as you need, even if your renovations are taking longer than they thought they would,” She smiles, disappearing into her room to change out of her scrubs.

She doesn’t admit that she likes having him here. That eating dinner with him and watching shitty dramas on Netflix are actually the most exciting parts of her day.

Things had entered this awkward stage between the two of them. Peter still brushes against her sometimes, bumping their hands on purpose, hand pressing lightly to the small of her back when he’s behind her in the kitchen, or spending more time than he usually did trying to make her laugh.

She doesn’t hate it, never moves away from the gestures, but she feels a little bad for Gen. Who he’s obviously still dating, judging by the fact that he _does_ spend weekends at her place sometimes or they meet up for dinner when he’s done work.

He always comes home from being with her looking drained. Most times he grabs a beer from the fridge and falls onto his normal chair, asking Lara Jean to catch him up on whatever he’s missed in the show she’s been watching.

She always does, tossing him a piece of chocolate while she explains. She should feel bad about it, should tell Peter that she feels like she’s overstepping the boundaries between his and Gen’s relationship because it’s obvious that this isn’t just a roommate situation. This seems like more than that.

She never does. And instead of saying that she’s exhausted from work and she needs some time to lay in her bed and stare at the ceiling, she gets Peter hooked on _The Bachelor_.

“Isn’t this some sort of sick joke? Pitting women against each other just so he can pick the best one?” Peter asks lamely one night, taking another bite of his pasta.

Lara Jean swallows her own bite, shrugging. “Sure, I guess,” She nods. She hadn’t really thought of it that way. “I mean, I’m pretty sure most of this is set up anyway. Like I can’t think anyone is this horrible.”

Peter nods, not looking entirely convinced but he shifts his attention back to the show. “Would you ever go on a show like this? Or do something like this?” He asks.

Lara Jean chokes on her wine. She’s afraid to look over at him, she’s fully aware her cheeks are bright red and not enough of her wine is gone to blame it on the alcohol.

“No, I don’t think so,” She says quietly. “It all seems a bit too intense for me. I think I’ll just find love another way.”

Peter nods, and for a moment she thinks Peter’s going to suggest setting her up with one of his friends. He doesn’t, but he does smile at her when he sets his empty plate down on the coffee table. “Well, whoever you find this guy you want to date, I want to meet him.”

She sucks on her bottom lip, forcing herself to smile. “Only if you promise not to hate him.”

“If he’s good for you, I won’t hate him.”

Her entire body tingles thinking about how Peter knows if someone is good for him. It’s been a weird few months, she knows, but there’s something about this boy she had (or has) a huge crush on knows her well enough now to know whether someone is good for her or not.

She nods anyway, and then sinks further into the sofa and immerses herself into the show again, laughing at Peter’s critiques of each date.

_______________________________

Most days Lara Jean loves her job.

She loves the unpredictably of it, how no day is exactly like the day before. She likes feeling like she’s helped someone, like no matter how bad their pain was or how awful their day had been, she made it a little bit better.

And then there are days that just drag on.

Those are mostly the days where she sees the same repeat cases every day. Flu bugs, a bout of pneumonia. Multiple broken bones, supervising a few stitches. With it getting close to winter they see more of the same things, the morning mostly filled with elderly patients refusing to admit that they need more care than just an ER visit when a doctor suggests admission.

Lara Jean walks out of a room where a woman argues with the doctor that they don’t know what they were doing, only to be stopped by Aaron, one of her coworkers.

“Do you mind doing a round of vitals and starting an IV for me? I really need to finish this paperwork for an admission,” He says.

Lara Jean, who had been looking forward to at least a few minutes to eat a granola bar, nods anyway and takes the chart from him.

She doesn’t look at the name, just reads over what he’s in for and what his pain levels were when they first asked. She arrives at the door, knocking twice before letting herself in, looking up to find Peter laying in the bed, face covered in gauze bandages.

“Peter,” She says softly, her brows knitting in concern. “What the hell happened? Were you not at work?”

Peter laughs, pulling his gown further up his chest. “I _was_ at work,” He says weakly. “We had a work party today. The games got a little… intense.”

Lara Jean glances back to the door, making sure it’s shut before she walks over to the bed. “I’m not supposed to help someone I know,” She says carefully. And then moves to grab the blood pressure cuff anyway. “But since I’m just substituting for a few minutes and I won’t be your nurse, we won’t tell anyone.”

Peter nods, letting her take his vitals. “I tripped and hit my head on the corner of the desk. Couldn’t brace myself and then I hit the carpet. Hard,” He explains while she takes his pulse. “Is it as bad as it feels?”

Lara Jean looks up from his chart, sighing. “It’s not pretty,” She admits, eyes flashing with sympathy. “Normally I’d hold the person’s chin when I shine the light. But, well,” She sighs, gesturing towards the bandage on his chin.

“I’ll hold still,” Peter promises.

And he does, letting Lara Jean study his eyes. “You’ll get a full concussion test in a little bit, but you seem okay. Did you lose consciousness?”

Peter shakes his head.

Lara Jean moves to grab supplies for an IV. “Just standard. In case you need pain meds or anything,” She says. Peter holds out his arm, letting her study his veins to find a good one. “Anything else hurt? Ribs, legs, arms?”

“My ankle,” Peter mumbles, eyes wide when he looks at Lara Jean. “It’s fine, Lara Jean. Just got caught in the carpet when I tripped. I’m sure it’s nothing more than twisted.”

“Which one?”

“Right,” He admits quietly, wincing when she peels back the blanket and studies it.

“It’s a little swollen and bruised. Let them x-ray it,” She says, writing it down on his chart before he can protest.

She inserts the IV, shifting back to look at his face. “I need to look at the cut on your chin and see if it needs stitches. How bad is it going to be?”

“One of my coworkers, Mark, said it’s pretty nasty. Definitely going to need stitches. It’s why he made me come here,” Peter admits quietly. His eyes follow Lara Jean across the room, where she grabs a new set of gloves and walks back to his bedside.

“Did Mark drive you?”

“Mmhmm,” Peter hums, wincing when Lara Jean pulls at the tape holding his lame bandage in place over his chin.

Lara Jean tips his head back softly, hand resting against his forehead as she peels off the last of the bandage. “Gonna clean it a little bit. Try to hold still,” She mumbles, grabbing some gauze and antiseptic, cleaning out the wound.

“Fuck, LJ,” Peter mumbles. Lara Jean apologizes quietly, bandaging the wound back up so he doesn’t bleed all over himself.

And then she pulls back and suddenly she’s inches from his face, his eyes staring at her flicking between pain and some sort of emotion Lara Jean denies is affection.

She looks away first, sucking in a sharp breath and turning to throw her now bloody gloves off.

Peter coughs awkwardly. It’s a lame attempt at easing the tension in the room, one that Lara Jean doesn’t find particularly effective.

“How many stitches am I going to need?” He asks quietly.

Lara Jean looks up, lips twitching into a smile. “Looks like at least 8. It’s a big gash, Peter. Did you drag your face along the edge of the desk?”

Peter laughs. “Maybe?” He says quietly. “It was dumb, like I said.”

Lara Jean nods. “Want something for the pain? I can’t give you much, but it’ll at least take the edge off.”

Peter mulls it over for a minute, running his fingers through his hair. “A little, I guess.”

Lara Jean disappears from the room, coming back a few minutes later and inserting some medication into his IV. “Aaron will be back and he’ll be your nurse, and then it shouldn’t be too long before the doctor comes in to at least get you to x-ray and stitched up.”

Peter nods, reaching his hand out to grab her wrist before she walks away. “Thank you. Seriously.”

Lara Jean smiles, wriggling her wrist out of his grasp so she can hold his hand. “It’s my job, Peter,” She says slowly. Stares at him a little too long, and then pulls away. “Don’t drive home, okay? Even if they say you don’t have a concussion, just. Don’t. I’ll take you to get your car another day.”

Peter nods. He doesn’t need to ask why she’s so afraid of him driving. He knows how her mom died, knows those weeks in the aftermath where she stopped coming to the treehouse to hang out with all of them when she was grieving her mother’s untimely death.

“Text me when you’re home?" She asks, and Peter nods again, twisting his hospital bracelet around his wrist.

“You’ll be home by 6:30?” He asks quietly. Lara Jean doesn’t miss how timid he sounds. Like he’s afraid to be alone any longer than normal.

She nods, hand resting on the doorknob before she turns back. “Don’t make dinner. Just lay on the couch and watch Netflix or something until I’m back. I don’t want you doing anything strenuous while I’m not there.”

Peter does seem to brighten up at that, nodding and letting her leave.

Lara Jean stands outside the door and takes a deep breath, giving herself a moment to collect herself before she gets back to work.

_______________________________

Peter listens to her instructions, laying lamely on the sofa when Lara Jean opens the front door to her apartment. He’s watching _Grey’s Anatomy_ , which normally she would protest that he kept going on without her being there, but she’s so proud he’s watching it alone that she can’t find it in her to be annoyed.

“I brought home rotisserie chicken,” Lara Jean says, lamely holding up the bag. “Sorry it’s not as fancy as your dinners. I’m too tired to do anything fancy tonight.”

“Well, you did have a very stressful day of patching me up,” Peter teases, eyes watching her set the chicken on the counter and turning on a burner to make rice.

“How are you feeling?” She asks, walking over to sit on the coffee table across from him. His chin has a new bandage now, one that’s smaller and obviously covering stitches. There’s a blanket covering his legs, but his foot is propped up on pillows.

“I’m fine,” He says quietly. “More embarrassed than anything.”

“How many stitches did it take?”

“Eleven,” He smiles. “The most pain of my life.”

Lara Jean rolls her eyes. “And your ankle?”

“A strain,” He says, peeling back the blanket to reveal an air cast. “They said wear this for a few days, put some ice on it. It’d be more sore than anything.”

Lara Jean nods. “Luckily, you live with a nurse. Who’s going to make sure you do take it easy.”

“I dodged a concussion though. Pretty proud of that one.”

“Silver linings,” She smirks, patting his leg when she stands up to go finish making their dinner.

They eat dinner watching _Grey’s_ , Lara Jean taking his spot on the chair in favor of letting him stay on the sofa. It’s quiet for the most part, Peter asks a few questions here and there and Lara Jean answers them dutifully, taking their plates to the sink when they’re both done.

“Hey, Aaron was pretty cute. Why don’t you go on a date with him?” Peter asks, turning his attention out to the kitchen where Lara Jean had been cleaning their dishes.

She glances over her shoulder, eyebrows raising in amusement. “I’m afraid he’d probably be more into you than he would be into me,” She smirks.

Peter turns red, ducking his head behind the couch cushion. “Seriously? He’s gay?”

Lara Jean shrugs. “He is,” She pauses, turning back to look at him. “And anyway, he has a boyfriend. Not that that makes a different in this scenario.”

Peter sighs. “Well, we’ll find someone for you,” He assures her, and for a moment Lara Jean thinks about saying the only person she really wants to be with is him.

He’s with Gen. She’s not coming between that again.

She returns with a bag of ice for his ankle, sitting down on the edge of the sofa and gently placing it as he hisses. “I know, sorry. Give me 10 minutes with it on and then I’ll take it off. It’ll keep the swelling down so you can get your shoes on tomorrow for work.”

“Any chance you could put a smaller bandage on my face for tomorrow?” He questions quietly, eyes meeting Lara Jean’s when she looks up at him.

She studies it for a moment, inching closer. She loses her balance on the edge, Peter leaning forward to grab her before she falls.

And then they’re closer than ever before, and before Lara Jean has a chance to realize what’s going on, Peter’s lips are on hers.

She doesn’t move for a moment, too stunned to react to what’s happening. And then she kisses him back, lips pressed lightly against his as he moves his tongue across her mouth.

She parts her lips just enough, pulling herself closer until she realizes what’s happening.  
And then she pulls away, staring at Peter stunned. “Peter,” She whispers, standing up from the sofa. “We — you’re dating Gen.”

Peter’s head falls. “No, I know,” He nods. “But things are horrible with her. It’s not — things aren’t working. Lara Jean,” He sighs. Exasperated. But he doesn’t say anything else.

“Nothing can happen between us until you end it with her,” She says firmly. “I am not coming between the two of you again. I’m not — she’s not getting another reason to blame me for things. We can’t do anything like this until you figure out what you and her are. And if you’re staying together, this can’t happen.”

Peter nods, eyes following her as she takes the ice off his ankle, pulling the blanket back over him and moving to the kitchen to clean up.

“I’m going to shower and go to bed. It’s been a long day.”

“Lara Jean,” Peter sits up further, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. You’re right. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“I’ll change your bandage in the morning before work. Leave that big bandage on for now. So your stitches don’t get soaked when you shower,” She explains. “Keep your door unlocked. I’m probably going to wake you up a few times to make sure you’re okay.”

“They said I didn’t have a concussion,” He mumbles.

Lara Jean stops in the doorway, her hand resting against the wall. “They said my mom didn’t either,” She replies quietly.

She can hear Peter suck in a sharp breath. “Okay, yeah. My door will be open.”

She nods, walking into her room and shutting the door behind her.

She wants to text Chris, tell her what happened, but also doesn’t want to make a big deal about it.

Yes, Peter had kissed her. Yes, she loved it more than she wishes she did. But he’s still with Gen, and Lara Jean is not going to be the one to come between them again.

She takes an extra long time in the shower, letting the water turn her skin red and taking her time washing her skin free of the disinfectant she feels like she permanently smells like.

By the time she’s back in her bedroom the TV is off and she can hear Peter shuffling in the living room, making his way towards his bedroom. She thinks about going to help him, making sure that he’s in bed and he’s comfortable before he goes to sleep, but she stops herself.

She needs time to process all of this. And so she forces herself to get into bed, letting herself relax when she hears Peter’s door shut quietly behind him.

Sleep doesn’t come easy, her mind reeling with the fact that she kissed Peter and she didn’t hate it, she just hated the circumstances surrounding them.

_______________________________

The next few days are quiet, awkwardness floating through the apartment at a level that even Lara Jean wished would end.

Lara Jean checks on Peter through the night for the first three days. She helps him clean his wound, reapplying cream and new bandages every day when it’s obvious he can’t do it himself. She hands him ice packs for his ankle, the two of them eat dinner together in virtual silence, and they find that they’re spending more time alone than they ever have before.

Peter gets his stitches removed five days after his ER visit, a smaller bandage covering the scar on his chin when Lara Jean arrives home from work. He’s finishing dinner, giving her a small smile as she sets her things down and hangs her coat up on the hook.

“Do you think it’s going to scar?” He asks when she looks it over.

Lara Jean resists the urge to roll her eyes. “Because the scar is the biggest worry out of this whole injury,” She mumbles. Peter looks stricken, eyes flashing with concern. “Sorry, long day. It’ll scar, but there’s creams you can get to make it not so noticeable.”

Peter nods, thanking her quietly when she sits down to eat with him.

Just like most nights since that night they kissed, they eat in virtual silence. They’re still watching _Grey’s Anatomy_ together (Peter still asks questions, Lara Jean still answers them), but they don’t go further than that and they go to their rooms earlier than they ever have since Peter moved in.

Lara Jean isn’t expecting anything different the following day. She finishes her shift at work, asks Peter if he needs anything from the store for dinner, and then makes her way home when he replies and says that he stopped and got everything on his way home. She’s looking forward to eating dinner and taking the longest bath of her life after one of the most stressful days she’s had in months, the awkwardness with Peter almost slipping her mind.

And then she walks in, Peter smiles like things between them are totally fine, and he sets out their pasta in their normal spots at the island.

“Why are you so happy?” She asks, sliding into her seat at the island. Things still feel awkward, there’s this mood hanging in the air that they really should talk about the other night, but they don’t.

Instead she takes a bite of her dinner while he shrugs, sitting down beside her. “I broke up with Gen.”

Lara Jean’s fork falls onto her plate, and when she manages to look up, Peter’s staring at her with a mixture of concern and amusement on his face. “Are you surprised by this?”

“Don’t you think I should be?” She asks, shoving another bite of pasta in her mouth before she says something she regrets.

Peter’s smile falters for a minute, ducking his head and shrugging. “I guess I just thought you’d be excited,” He says quietly. He takes a bite of his dinner, chewing methodically before swallowing. “It wasn’t working between us. But we —”

“Did you break up with her because you want to be with me?” Lara Jean stares at her plate, unable to meet Peter’s eyes.

She hears his fork hit his plate, his sigh echo through the quiet apartment, and from the corner of her eye she can see him run his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know if it was explicitly because of you,” He says quietly. “I… obviously things have changed between us. But me and Gen… it hasn’t been working for years.”

“But you stayed with her.”

“Because it was familiar,” Peter stresses. His voice is quiet. “Gen is great, okay? And she’s familiar and she feels like home, but whatever we had when we were younger is gone. We’ve been going through the motions for months. Years, even. And I needed to stop it before we got sucked into this familiarity and didn’t do anything about it. Before we made big decisions like moving in together or getting married and then realizing it was a huge mistake.”

Lara Jean doesn’t say anything for a moment, trying to take it all in. Because sitting across from her is the guy she’s liked since middle school, the boy who made Gen hate her, and his eyes are searching for anything at this moment. For her to say something, break the quiet in the apartment.

“Gen probably hates me even more now, doesn’t she?”

Peter sighs. “She doesn’t _hate_ you,” He tries. It’s half-hearted. “She — I think she knew this was coming,” He confesses, “She wasn’t exactly over the moon about me spending my renovations time here instead of at her place.”

“Doesn’t she live in a studio?” Lara Jean asks. She forces herself to look up at him.

Peter’s laughing quietly, nodding. “She does. Which is why I could’ve never stayed there. There’s not enough room.”

Lara Jean nods, but realistically she knows that Gen is still mad about him living with her and now she’s going to be mad that she’s probably the one that broke them up, even if Peter keeps insisting that she’s not.

“What does this mean for us?” She asks quietly. She’s not stupid, there was something between she and Peter that evening, whether he was on medication or not. She’s seen the way he looks at her, noticed the way that he’s always doing these nice gestures. She’s not dumb.

Peter’s lips twitch into a smile, his hand reaching out for hers. She flinches, but doesn’t pull away. “Let me take you on a date,” He offers, feeling Lara Jean turn her hand over to hold his. “A real date. Not one at the diner or the pizza place down the street. A nice restaurant, wearing nice clothes, like a normal date.”

Lara Jean finds herself nodding before he’s even done proposing the date. “Can I kiss you?” She asks quietly.

Peter doesn’t answer, just leans forward and lightly presses his lips to hers. Lara Jean relaxes underneath his touch, sighing against him as she cups his face between her hands. “Maybe… maybe we don’t wait until that date,” She mumbles, and before Peter can say anything he’s lifting her off the stool, carrying her to his bedroom.

“Wish this would’ve happened sooner, Covey,” He says quietly, lips tracing along her jaw and back up to her mouth, her hands running through his hair. “But that doesn’t mean I can’t make up for lost time right now.”

_Maybe asking him to move in wasn’t such a bad idea at all._

**Author's Note:**

> i truly never thought i was going to finish this omg i started writing it before i started writing I still reach for you and then i abandoned it because i got stuck but! it is the day of love and somehow someway i finished it and i hope you guys enjoyed it! 
> 
> i've never done a roommates au before so! hopefully it is satisfying enough!
> 
> title of the fic is from You and I by Johnnyswim :)


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